THE BREAKFAST CLUB

OK I will step down off of my political soapbox and get up on my fag bashing one. I can do that being a homosexual myself, my reasons for fag bashing are purely personal and have nothing with the mainstream reasons to fag bash. Homo's are easy targets most of the time to pick on, and tonight Puke on.
My beautiful wonderful straight women friends, Heather and Lee Ann came and took me out on the town tonight to an Eighties Bar called the Breakfast Club. It sits right in the middle of downtown Charlotte with one of the best views of town and I had never been before tonight. It was an experience that was worth the effort to dress for I guess. I thought it funny that it was Goth Exchange night, where Goth's come and bring old gothic clothes to trade out for something they like more than the black they came in with for the night. Interesting to say the least to watch a bunch of leather and lace laid up on a table and pierced, dark eyelined goths play the part of little old ladies at a bargain table snatching things from each other...
So Heather has two straight guys with her, one from India who was very cute, & straight, he was extremely shy because he just sorta sat in the background even though everyone was extra friendly and inviting him out on the dance floor and all. I told Heather that my GayDar was broken indefinitely and I needed help in disserning who was who in the bar, being that it was a mixed crowd of straight and gay people.
The music, all Eighties, and really good to tell the truth was hopping and Heather, Lee Ann and I danced like maniacs all night. I watched a number of gay men move in and out of the crowd and frankly decided that my gay social skills are Non Existant. I don't have the ability to mingle and cheerfully banter back and forth like I did as a teenie bopper. But I did out dance them even though I have no coordination or dance skills per se. I flayed about like the best of the goths that hogged the dance floor. I did see my girlfriend Beth's Old Flame Ken. He said he owns a bar now,, I said ,, give me a job... He flitted off with some goth chick and I thought to myself that Beth is really way too good for this freak. Glad she is over him,,, I hope anyway,,,,
So, I danced and drank and danced and drank,,, then lo!!,,,
Back in the late summer, I blogged about meeting a guy at the Karioke night at the Woodshed, my 'regular queer hangout bar', or at least I think I blogged briefly about meeting him. He could sing like all get out and knew who Josh Grobin was the night I met him. We sang Italian songs together that night. Well I have not seen him since the day we met and tonight who walks in the this Straight club, but mr. Brandon himself looking all to spiffy and hot in a white sweater and tight jeans. He looked at me and didn't know me from squat. Of course this makes me Mr. Nervous Fag, who wants to say something but can't bring myself to do so. I am dancing and Heather leaves the dance floor and I stay alone,, still dancing and he walks by. I say his name and he does a 360 to look and keeps walking to the stairs leading to the bottom floor of the bar. Heather says he broke his neck looking at me, I didn't think that he did it other that because I said his name, ,, honestly felt that he saw me and gave me the Fag Sneer. I decide, what the hell and go to the bottom floor bar where I saw him walk with his "friend?'"
I am pretty high off alcohol, buzzing good, and really was sorta miffed that Mr Brandon had kept walking without even stopping long enough to figure out who the hell I was,,, Did he even remember,,, like I did, the night we met?
So I get downstairs and he and his friend are at the bar, I am trying my best to quieten the I HATE FAGS MARQUE that was playing nonstop in my brain. I really can't explain it well, but I have just given up on developing social skills with homos. So, there I was, torn, between watching one of the few guys I have had an interest in since Giovanni, and he obviously not even knowing that I was around, ,,,,me wanting to say something to him. My confusion/frustration was reaching a boiling point and I could feel my face becoming flush. I am not sure if it was anger, sadness, angst, or what, but I was totally over fags at that moment. I was surprized because I had been just having a good time with Heather and Lee Ann,,, not really thinkin on the homo fuckedupness I live,,,,,, I guess I had mentioned to Lee Ann about my ineptitude with guys lately. So I was trying my best not even to care that homos were present. But seeing this guy Brandon, did something to me,, not sure what, but it hit all the wrong switches. Partly I am sure, because I was attracted to him the first time I met him, but then, something else switched on and I was like trying so hard not to admit that I was feeling Old, undesireable and very pathetic.....
I watched him at the bar and his friend put his hand on his shoulder, and something snapped inside me... .... I felt like I had a thousand bees on me. I knew that feeling,,, and it wasn't good. CARRIE!!>>>>>>


What happened next was surreal.
The girl who was standing next to them, she turned and began to do one of the best impressions of Linda Blair with the Pea Soup Vomit, all over Brandon. Everyone dodged the puke but him.... I finished my Corona as the girl made a beeline toward the exit door. In my head the music from Carrie was softly playing,,, Brandon's nice white sweater was pukestained, and the barbacks and staff were all there in a second to help him out of his situation. They gave him cloths to clean up with, and took him to the staff area and gave him a Tee Shirt and a sweatshirt for all his vomit troubles. When he came out, he looked at me, and I leaned over to tell him I would gladly hose him down if he didn't think he got it all cleaned off...
Not sure about that at all, It was one of the most surreal, sad, and sick things I have ever seen.
His friend wisked him away back upstairs after he was cleaned up, and I wanted to say something to him, but Heather and Lee Ann came down and were ready to leave the bar. I asked Lee Ann, whom I rode with to give me a minute, and went up to see if I could find him. I did, but then didn't know what to say so I took one last look, and told myself,,, OMEN???
And turned and left without saying a word to him, ,,
Not sure about this night, all I know is that I was Nervous enough to vomit, but didn't,,, someone else took care of that for me......
Not sure whether I was pleased or sad about it all to tell the truth. Totally surreal.
Too ,,, too Surreal.