THE SOUTHEAST REGIONAL BURN
JULY 21st, 22nd and 23rd

I really haven't been blogging lately because I feel like everything I write is blah blah blah.... so I have been hitting the delete button and moving on without saying anything. Then I started to think, ""so what"",, it is my blog,,, but somehow the volumes of emotional vomit just does not spew out the same. I am at a plateau or something.. so I say nothing. White space on the blogspace just stares at me,, and hums along with all the white noise in my brain.
So my Self Therapy included my Birthday trip to Deerfields, for the 2nd Year in a row my friend Beth and I went to TRANSFORMUS our local Burning Man Event!!! It is now a tradition, Transformus happens each year on my birthday, so what a party!!! This year over 1200 people attended.
I am in a different place this year, and was more reflective and focused inwardly,, yet still partied with all the freaks!! It was Great to be in the woods again,, I needed the feel of trees and lakes and nature. Surrounding it all up in an eclectic cosmic soup of individuals who in most ways think as I do regarding Mother Earth.
I think I know what my problem is,, it is just I am tired of saying it is the issue: I am lonely.
Very lonely, and alone in my head,,, (with the pessimistic Scott just knowing that it will remain this way for the rest of my life.)
You see, I really have had a good life, mainly because I choose to transform the shit into compost and plant some good things along the way. The problem lately is that as a gay 40ish man, I realize that finding someone to share the rest of my life with may present some logistical issues that will have to be addressed. I know this,, just don't have as much energy or patience anymore in regards to dating/or trying to find someone who is half way interested in what I do with my life. (READ: I really am pretty boring when it gets down to it. Well maybe not boring, ,,,, how about NOT IMPRESSED WITH $$$$/Material THINGS>)
It is doubtful that a lumberjack or tree topper (I need trees removed out of the yard) is going to come along and want to help out with the 'homestead'. Especially one who could handle it when I wanted to hang out in the woods with 1200 Transformus Freaks, pagans, and this year the Radical Faeries!!!!! They were too much, every party needs a fun fag, this one had a couple hundred or more!! The parade was at 4:20 and faerie promt and ended at one of the Mysterian Bars in the woods. This photo was when the parade stopped for drinks at another bar: Camp Artic!! How many homosexual men can fit into an Igloo?? ALOT. It was a riot.

Beth and I arrived Friday afternoon. We set up our little FunPalace in the Apple Orchard like we did last year. That night, whom do I see but Daimion the super good looking Lumbee Indian I had fun with last year. We had fun again this year,,,,,,,,,, Happy Birthday to Me! Damn he looked good in his Naked Angel outfit!! Sorry I didn't have my camera then. We danced all night at the Pallet Bar. The Day of the Burn we spent at the lake, and I hung out with the Radical Faeries and Mudpuppies. We covered ourselves with fresh mud and baked in the sun. The Night of the Burn I Transformed Myself again with lots of good music, fire, rain, wind, earth,,,, and some Magickal Mushrooms. Right after the Burn a Big Storm came and we danced in the rain. Today we drove home and adjusted to our Newly Transformed Selves.
I realize that having a love relationship at this time may not be in the cards for me,, but I still am going to have a good time with myself and my friends.
Peace is Every Step.