The Samhain GiveAway

Today I made up my mind to sell the house if I do not find a roommate to replace my previous roomie who is to move out by Sunday. It has been a heart renching decision that I flip flop on,, and most likely will again,,, like right now... I love my home,, and if I am to live here in Charlotte want to remain here,, but the finacial truth is I have been on borrowed time (and the banks money) since day one here. The Ex SN who bought this house with me,, did not really ever pay his half while we were together, and when I was making the big bucks, I didn't care,,,, like I should have. We also had Ricky my best friend living with us, so it was a 3 income house,, and we lived very well in those days,, not really concerned about money per se. Those days have been long gone.
After the D_I_V_O_R_C_E,, with the Ex, it still took me 3 whole years to get him out of the house and during that time my financial status floundered, fell then was totally fried. Giovanni, also did a toll on me, as I paid for everything while he was here after his meager 'savings' was used up in Air fare between Italy and here. At the time I didn't care, and today do not really afford him much of the blame, like I do with the Ex. Mostly I blame myself, for being so trusting and sure that people would do me 'right',,,,, well,,, wrong!!!
So for almost four-plus years, I have done this all alone. The house has suffered and you can tell that no money has been put back into this house like it was intended when I purchased it... So many dreams,, down the toilet. It is really a nice house, the dream starter home,, really on the higher end of my budget.. In the day, I had it all, the job with frequent flyer miles, travelling all over and loving that,, nice paycheck,,,, which I wish I had saved more of,,, the Husband,,, who turned out to be a child.,,, the nice house in suburbia, a half acre lot, 2 dogs and 2 cats. Gone because I demand more than most USERS are willing to give. Yep,, I am not bitter, just upfront and totally confirmed that I allowed myself to be used to the fullest. I was totally tapped. Now I am left with the debris of a life that no longer exists. I have held it together with duct tape (the redneck side of me) and super glue ( the queer part). Now those are falling away and I must make some fast unpleasant decisions that are going to affect the rest of my life.
Friday, my good friend White Crow and her Husband the Ol"Buzzard are driving down for the weekend to help me disconnect to what she calls my White Elephant. I told her time and time again I needed help, and she offered to do this great thing for me,, because I am too too attached. She will be helping me to continue the disengagement that started with the Gay Yard Sale. ANd this place is a wreck.. I have been the PackRatKing and know it. I save the oddest things,, it borders on ObsesiveCompulsive,, but I think I am not that far,,,, yet,,, and know when to ask for help. Bette(White Crow) was once a professional Organizer of lives so she always has been helpful in the past clearing out the debris of my mind and home when needed,,, I am very lucky to know such a love who cares enough to drive a couple hundred miles to help me reorganize the pieces of my life that have gained control over me. She can be very Spartan in outlook,,, the German in her I guess, but that is what I need now.
When I look at it all I am overwhelmed and can't be NonAttached,, so I am calling in reinforcements to help me get there.. Sometimes we need to let others show us how to get out of the ditch sometimes,,, no need to be such a stubborn man that would make me continue to stay in the ditch,, because a man can be (lazily)comfortable anywhere,,,,, even a ditch.
Today, I could only box up one box full of things. I wrote down what was in the box,, thinking I will somehow catlogue what I retain/sell/give away.... which brings up the post name.

I have decided to do a traditional like Give Away. Bette doesn't know that yet, but sure she will see it will be the easiest way to get rid some of the strange and unusual items I have around. Then the rest,,, it might be a winter bonfire in the backyard,,, too lazy to do another yard sale,,, even though the money would be helpful again.
So many of the items of this house have spiritual signifigance for me, and I have started to sort them with my friends in mind, as who would like what, making a label for item, and moving to the next. Some will be very happy to find out I have an Elephant memory most of the time, and remember particular things they have said about different things I "own".
They (the items, I 'own')are becoming something so different at this time in my life,, it is a very strange process to be going through,, actually very freaky. Doing it alone has been the most difficult thing, so White Crow will be doing the Biggest task of all,, helping me to become Non Attached to some of the religious item things in my life. They still have power,,, but Only if I release it and let go of them. So, I will soon be trying to Give EVERYTHING I OWN AWAY,,
The exception list really is just my dogs and cats,,, can't give the children away...
This should be interesting,,, so I will keep everyone posted on my progress.
The goal is to be very free by Winter Solstice (Dec 22)
We will see... But right now the focus will be on the Samhain GiveAway. Oct 28th to the 31st