Insomnia
When Giovanni returned to Italy the second time in our two year attempt at our relationship, it was just three days after my cat died. Speck whom I had with me for 20 years made the passage across the veil to the land of Catnip and Eternal Cat Naps. He was the best cat ever, ever , ever!! When I got him I lived at my fathers mobile home park in #3. I had a blind dog, named Helen after Helen Keller and five indoor cats that had a whole room which I let them use as a litter box.( I wanted to trash that trailer before I moved out, so my dad could not rent it out again,, worked) Plus about 15 or so 'outside cats I had rescued, plus the African Frogs which I found frozen to death one cold winter day in their aquarium cause I forgot to leave the door open to heat that room. ( I used Kerosene heaters) So, my friend Bernie and his wife Rene went to see the lights of PTL (Praise The Lord) at Christmas one year.... yes that is the one and only Jim and Crying Tammy Baker PTL which was then at full tilt not far from my home. They used to really do it up then, competing with McAdenville, i.e. Christmas Town USA which is a southern tradition here riding through a mill town done up to the hilt with lights,,, (it is a real blast on shrooms,,, another post to come) So, Bernie and Rene do PTL and find this tiny tiny kitten freezing by the side of the road near the real live camels at the manger scene. Thinking of what a sucker Scott is for animals and knowing I could not resist or so they thought. Immediately when they showed up with the kitten I said , "NO!" No more cats, my dad was already over me for ditching my girlfriend for a man 8 years my senior and not being ashamed of it. The animals were out of control in his eyes, and I really needed to stop or I would be the crazy man in trailer #3 with a thousand and one cats. So, we partied and the little black and white fluff of fur scrunched as close as he could to the kerosene heater. We must have partied for a few hours then they had to leave, and I said ,,, 'not without the cat!!!' Rene begged me, I stood firm. So, I reached down to scoop up the kitten to hand to them thinking 'now they can care for one cat,' allergies be damned. The kitten had not moved the whole night from the spot he had taken til then, and when he turned and looked up at me as i reached to get him, I busted. The poor thing had no whiskers, they were now globs melted up to the skin of his nose!! And of course, Rene and Bernie snickered knowing their job was done,,, Scott Free!!! And he was the best cat I ever had,,, and I have had a shit load of cats.
So, that week Giovanni left was one of the worst in my life, and I am still raw from it to be honest. I took Speck to the Veterinarian I sometimes used, as at the time I still had my job working for the Veterinary Software Company CRT,,, which I say means Crummy Rat Traitors now after being laid off last year. Loyalty gets you no where in todays world. So, the Veterinarian, whom I will not name, even though later I worked for him after the layoff only to find what an asslick he really was,, but at the time he gave me morphine and an IV drip so I could take Speck home and do it myself. I cried and cried, and being the pagan I am, called on my Animal Guides and spirit friends, to take my baby safely to the otherside as I took his life so that he would not suffer. I know it is crazy, but I took pictures of those last moments alive with him. I had too as I didn't have many of him, that I could show people,,,,, as most where of him dry humping a stuffed Cat in the Hat doll or pillow which was one of his ever enduring trademarks.
When I gave him the last of the morphine, he weakly opened his eyes and saw me one last time, I know he loved me, and for almost twenty years this cat had slept on my head every night and that night I was not going to have him there. And the pricks at CRT insisted I needed to come in,,, you know for a gay person,,, hell for alot of us gay or straight an animal is family. Them making me come to work that day must have sealed my fate in regards to work there, I hated them pretty bad that day. Fuckers.
When I got home, Giovanni had done the house up for the funeral. Candles, dim lights and Speck prepared for the viewing. Sounds sick , but I was truly touched by what he did that day . He even made a grave marker out of tiles that he broke up to make a mosaic like picture. We held the funeral for my best feline friend after I gathered my composure as best as possible. Three days later he returned to Italy for what I thought to be the last time, and I fell apart. My cat and lover both gone in one week and I have not slept normal since. Gio being gone too also doesn't help. sometimes it is really a sucky sucky world. I now have Two cats , Pud the psycho mosaic eyed white cat, and the newest addition The Monkey Kat!!! Two dogs, Titan, a black chow/lab mix, and Mystical the chow/beagle? mix, One beta fish named Blueboy after the old gay porn magazine and I'm Blue song. And John Dee the lizard. My roomie that just moved in has Spike, a boxer mix. I love them all so much, But damn I miss Speck.
When Giovanni returned to Italy the second time in our two year attempt at our relationship, it was just three days after my cat died. Speck whom I had with me for 20 years made the passage across the veil to the land of Catnip and Eternal Cat Naps. He was the best cat ever, ever , ever!! When I got him I lived at my fathers mobile home park in #3. I had a blind dog, named Helen after Helen Keller and five indoor cats that had a whole room which I let them use as a litter box.( I wanted to trash that trailer before I moved out, so my dad could not rent it out again,, worked) Plus about 15 or so 'outside cats I had rescued, plus the African Frogs which I found frozen to death one cold winter day in their aquarium cause I forgot to leave the door open to heat that room. ( I used Kerosene heaters) So, my friend Bernie and his wife Rene went to see the lights of PTL (Praise The Lord) at Christmas one year.... yes that is the one and only Jim and Crying Tammy Baker PTL which was then at full tilt not far from my home. They used to really do it up then, competing with McAdenville, i.e. Christmas Town USA which is a southern tradition here riding through a mill town done up to the hilt with lights,,, (it is a real blast on shrooms,,, another post to come) So, Bernie and Rene do PTL and find this tiny tiny kitten freezing by the side of the road near the real live camels at the manger scene. Thinking of what a sucker Scott is for animals and knowing I could not resist or so they thought. Immediately when they showed up with the kitten I said , "NO!" No more cats, my dad was already over me for ditching my girlfriend for a man 8 years my senior and not being ashamed of it. The animals were out of control in his eyes, and I really needed to stop or I would be the crazy man in trailer #3 with a thousand and one cats. So, we partied and the little black and white fluff of fur scrunched as close as he could to the kerosene heater. We must have partied for a few hours then they had to leave, and I said ,,, 'not without the cat!!!' Rene begged me, I stood firm. So, I reached down to scoop up the kitten to hand to them thinking 'now they can care for one cat,' allergies be damned. The kitten had not moved the whole night from the spot he had taken til then, and when he turned and looked up at me as i reached to get him, I busted. The poor thing had no whiskers, they were now globs melted up to the skin of his nose!! And of course, Rene and Bernie snickered knowing their job was done,,, Scott Free!!! And he was the best cat I ever had,,, and I have had a shit load of cats.
So, that week Giovanni left was one of the worst in my life, and I am still raw from it to be honest. I took Speck to the Veterinarian I sometimes used, as at the time I still had my job working for the Veterinary Software Company CRT,,, which I say means Crummy Rat Traitors now after being laid off last year. Loyalty gets you no where in todays world. So, the Veterinarian, whom I will not name, even though later I worked for him after the layoff only to find what an asslick he really was,, but at the time he gave me morphine and an IV drip so I could take Speck home and do it myself. I cried and cried, and being the pagan I am, called on my Animal Guides and spirit friends, to take my baby safely to the otherside as I took his life so that he would not suffer. I know it is crazy, but I took pictures of those last moments alive with him. I had too as I didn't have many of him, that I could show people,,,,, as most where of him dry humping a stuffed Cat in the Hat doll or pillow which was one of his ever enduring trademarks.
When I gave him the last of the morphine, he weakly opened his eyes and saw me one last time, I know he loved me, and for almost twenty years this cat had slept on my head every night and that night I was not going to have him there. And the pricks at CRT insisted I needed to come in,,, you know for a gay person,,, hell for alot of us gay or straight an animal is family. Them making me come to work that day must have sealed my fate in regards to work there, I hated them pretty bad that day. Fuckers.
When I got home, Giovanni had done the house up for the funeral. Candles, dim lights and Speck prepared for the viewing. Sounds sick , but I was truly touched by what he did that day . He even made a grave marker out of tiles that he broke up to make a mosaic like picture. We held the funeral for my best feline friend after I gathered my composure as best as possible. Three days later he returned to Italy for what I thought to be the last time, and I fell apart. My cat and lover both gone in one week and I have not slept normal since. Gio being gone too also doesn't help. sometimes it is really a sucky sucky world. I now have Two cats , Pud the psycho mosaic eyed white cat, and the newest addition The Monkey Kat!!! Two dogs, Titan, a black chow/lab mix, and Mystical the chow/beagle? mix, One beta fish named Blueboy after the old gay porn magazine and I'm Blue song. And John Dee the lizard. My roomie that just moved in has Spike, a boxer mix. I love them all so much, But damn I miss Speck.
2 comments:
I don't think it's sick to take pictures of your last moments at all. And the funeral was a nice touch. That was sweet of Gio for appreciating how much Speck meant
to you.
I was had a teeny tiny cat named Speck, too. How cool is that?
I told you it was freaky that I know we must be Twin Souls,, thanks
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