Catch Up

The past few months where I have been absent have been a real roller coaster ride around here in Transformation Land O'Scott. Looking back over my posts I see that I stopped posting right around the time that my sister arrived here from Boston. Naturally. This was a tough spot for me, I ended up putting up her, her son and the Boyfriend/Father of Child. It was two solid weeks of pure T-Hell then got worse. I gave them my bedroom for the time and ended up feeling a stranger in my own home for a number of reasons. They fought like cats and dogs,,, wait a minute, my cats and dogs get along very well,,,, like...... ........ people unable to settle their issues as adults,,, how is that.??
I have always prided myself as living a life that is based on Change and transformation,, but as the saying goes you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.... Nor can you make someone transform their personal situations faster than they can handle. Some just do not want to admit failure, my sister is one of them,, the relationship was doomed and no one but me was admiting it. So,,, who turns out to be the BAD GUY-------------Scott.
So, to make a long sad story short, my sister who has returned to Christianity, blamed my home, me and my lifestyle on destroying the chance for her and SpermDonor to kiss and make up. The quote that reverberates through my soul so horribly is : "FUCK YOUR RELIGION" straight out of my sisters mouth. I was honestly trying to set an atmosphere of transformation and change to good and it turned into a 'Scott is a demonic trying to 'cast magick' around to break up her and SpermDonor' that was the furtherest thing from the truth as I really did like SpermDonor,,, but could see he was just a bullshiter and someone more interested in smokin' and drinkin' than childrearing.... Sorry I pointed that out Sis. So needless to say, it ended badly and the psychic holes in my home where large enough to swallow a person whole,,, and I had to climb out as best as I could.
This all came on the heels of my mothers boyfriend of 10+ years dying and other assorted traumas. Some heavy baggage from the past slipped out in regards to issues my sister has not healed and trying to point her into a positive path of renewal didn't actually work the way I intended. I learned alot,, the main thing is YOU CAN'T HELP THOSE NOT READY TO BE HELPED. and Family is a bond that can sink you quicker than anything else, and sadly I had to release alot to be able to survive myself. My sister moved out to live with a group of Christians she hooked up with, the SpermDonor went back to Boston. The Child, well that is the part I am most hurt over as I love Tyler and really was enjoying being around him,,, but now am not allowed around him. I do think that the time I had with him will remain in his memory as one of the best times of his childhood---- minus the Mother/SpermDonor fights in my house. He loved my yard, the dogs and cats and all the objects that I have everywhere. He would 'help' me working in the yard..... I will miss the chance to be a part of his life,,, but time will tell. My sister and I talk rarely now,,, and she was the closest to me of all my family so that does hurt alot. Hopefully the day will come where things go back to a 'normal' relationship between us. I am open to that, not sure she ever will be again since my lifestyle is so demonized by her own religion. Sad, but a true story. Transformations sometimes hurt.