MY GUIDE

She exists, you may not believe this post, but it is all true.
Lately, I have been blogging about people who have inspired me in this lifetime. So far three men, and now I am going to write about one of the biggest of my feminine influences. Please hold on, as she is a bit different than the corporal people I have spoke of so far.

I have always had what could loosely be termed a ‘guide’ who has been with me since I was a very young child. I don’t know her name, so I can not post it here as I have the others, but she is as real to me as my own mother. I first met her when I was around five years of age, she came to me as I was playing alone in the woods behind my house. At first I did think it was my mother because she had long beautiful black hair like my mother had then and she was radiant in her dark skin, which was a creamy tan/brown color. I looked up realizing that it was not mother and she just smiled before disappearing into the sunlight sifting through the leaves and branches of the trees.

That year I fell and hit my head on some stone steps in the backyard and after that she began to come to me more and more, but mainly in dreams. She would sing a song that I have never been able to place, and the melody would stir something within me that made me feel whole and at peace with the world. I was already intrigued with ‘magical’ worldviews by the time I had this disease in my leg at the age of ten. My mother would put a blanket down in the backyard, fill it with books and put me there for the day because I could not run and play with the other kids. “She” was there a lot, telling me things that I didn’t understand, but letting me know one day I would comprehend it all.

Space flight was happening here in America at that time, and my belief in Extraterrestrials was solid by the time I reached the age of 13. I somehow ‘knew’ that I would have contact before I was twenty one years of age. ‘She’ had told me, without any words this would happen.

The year that I graduated from high school, in January of 1980 I was at a friends house and she let me take her car home as she did not want to get up and drive me home,, which was only about three miles away. As I was getting into the car I heard her voice again, the first time in a very long time, “You can see us tonight.” I wanted to run inside and get Neicey my girlfriend, but was told to come alone. I knew that it was highly unlikely to see anything if I just drove straight home so I started to meander through our small town and headed towards Charlotte, but at the river I turned around and went back through the ‘mill’ side of town.

I crested a hill and saw this huge ball of light shining in the sky crossing over town silent and of a very orange color. It was about 1:00 am now. I was in Neicey’s 280Z so I put the lead on and followed the ball dancing in the sky. I lost sight of it until I came to the high school, where I watched it glide over the buildings heading south towards the canal. I gave chase, and caught up with it again near the hydroelectric plant and canal. I turned a curve and there it was, now a different shape with three lights brightly glowing over the pine trees. I stopped the car in the middle of the road and jumped out, waving my arms madly screaming at the top of my lungs. It was huge, and about twenty feet above the tops of the trees and it zig-zagged coming toward me. At this point I heard her voice again, and the melody from my childhood telling me to ‘Be calm’,,, but I could hardly contain myself. The next thing I knew It was directly overhead and my mind seemed to open up like never before and the only way that I can describe it is that ‘’She uploaded something’’ into my brain. It felt wonderful,, but I was not able to understand a thing. Visions like a movie being set on fast forward, and sounds like I have never heard overwhelmed me as I stood there in the middle of the road. It was like a pipe was stuck into my brain and the floodgates were opened and some warm sweet liquid blue wonder was poured into my soul. This seemed to last a lifetime. Then she said, “we must leave now” and the pipe closed, I returned to ‘normal’ and watched the lights glide over the road heading to the river where the power plant is stationed. I jump back in the car, dizzy but still able to function and thought that I could drive up the road and get a view of it as it headed east. I should have been able to see something,, and especially if it was a plane heading to the airport nearby,, because I had a clear view of everything being on the highest point of land. Nothing. It was gone.

Needless to say, I was ‘’flippin out’’ happy as hell ,, but totally wanting to babble about my experience. I realized that it was now about 3:30 in the morning, a school night at that, but I got home and woke my mother up. Naturally she thought I was on some HEAVY DRUGS…. Which I was not,, didn’t even smoke a joint that night. My ‘father’ was out of town, he drove a truck on long hauls, but she grounded me until his return. All I could do was babble about the UFO. My high school friends, well this HS had a disproportionate amount of ‘sightings’ , one friend was even wrote up in the paper about her sighting. I will blog about those connections later,, this is really very condensed and missing a number of things involved. But anyway, W.G. (who I thought was my father) came home and proceeded to explain to me what a hallucination was, and I became furious knowing this was not a ‘trip’ . We were in my bedroom on the second floor and as we talked we could hear a train in the distance coming into town. I argued with him until a strange thing happened. He was always intimidating to me, but something snapped open inside of me, I could feel ‘’them’’ again as I talked, I was becoming more and more vocal, then I started saying things that I have no idea where they came from, and a large vibrating sound came down over the house. It was not the train, as you could still hear that, but it was drowned out by what ever was OVER our house. W.G. Looked like a little boy, scared shitless to say the least. I somehow seemed to tower over him and she came through me and spoke. It was very surreal and All I remember was I felt like I was looking down from the ceiling at us both,, I ran my mouth none stop at him, he crouched in the chair like a child. This lasted for a number of minutes with the sounds above the house very audible and LOUD, shaking the very house itself. Next thing I know, I am ‘back in my body’ looking at W.G. who was visibly shaken by it all. I stood there and listened as the sound of the train came back, as the vibration of what was over the house left. It was very palatable and thick with an electrical feel to it. He stood up, looked at me very strangely and left my room. He would never speak of this too me again.

Fast forward two years, I am living in W.G.s mobile home park. Somehow I had almost convinced myself that I had created those experiences with my mind. Tulpa, thought forms,,, somehow produced it with the power of my own mind. It was 1982 and I was just getting into the whole Tulpa, meme, and thought form work, and had started my Shamanic training. It was a beautiful September day,, sun shining, blue skies. I was in the trailer reading book.

Out of nowhere, she speaks to me again for the first time since 1980, “Look out the window.” I did, and flipped out with excitement. “We are Real, Scott, not a mind creation” and I ran out the front door and stood on the deck. There in the sky,, again about twenty feet or so above the trees was a solid Black Rectangular BOX, with no windows, no seams, no marks of any kind. It must have been the size of about four/five train boxcars put together. It was silent, except what she said inside of my mind, telling me that they were not part of my imagination, that they were not creations (Tulpa) of my mind. That they were solid and as real as you and me, should now be evident. Of course I wanted to get my camera, but she said that was not possible now, so I just drank in this sight with awe and watched. Definitely not a ‘normal’ saucer shaped UFO. A BIG BLACK BOX,, ,,,, and my beautiful Lady, who at times I thought a figment of my childhood imagination. Her voice clear as a bell. “I am real, Scott”

This post is so long,,, I will continue it later. But “She” has been there for me my whole life, in the background, in my dreams, in some very real 3D experiences that seem ‘paranormal’ but are not. I still am working on a lot that SHE has put in front of me, and I know that there is a reason,, beyond my grasp at the moment,,,, but a reason this all has happened to me. The information that was ‘downloaded’ into my brain, it is still there, waiting,, and once in awhile seeping out into consciousness. There is a reason, and today I am content Not to be able to explain it out loud what it is, because no matter what anyone else thinks. I know she is very much a Real person, somehow connected to me. And very important to my evolution.

NOTE: the day I saw the Black Box UFO, six people were reported in the next days, papers for seeing a UFO. I didn’t report my experiences.